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Friday, April 11, 2008


BB9Dish friend and regular contributor, Jane, just had a splendid idea...

In light of Sheila's 46th birthday tomorrow, we need to plan for her BB birthday.

Oh my goodness, what should I bring? Nothing, you aren't invited, it's a TV show, and you aren't on it. But the houseguests are invited. What would they bring?

The rules are simple, what would each of the houseguests from the BB9 Season bring Sheila for her birthday?

In the order of your choice...

Here's an example...

Alex: Himself, for her personal enjoyment.
Sharon: The promise of 500k in her immediate future...
Adam: Breakfast in bed and full access...


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wine and Tylonal PM

7:37 PM  
Blogger Jane said...


In light of Sheila's 46th birthday tomorrow (yes people, she's a 45 year old single mom and has a 16 or 17 year old son - she doesn't seem quite sure which) we need to plan for her BB birthday.

Oh my goodness, what should I bring? Nothing, you aren't invited, it's a TV show and you aren't on it. But the houseguest are invited. What would they bring?

The rules are simple, what would each houseguest bring Sheila for her birthday?

I'll be the first contestant.

1. Natalie will bring Sheila: her bible, she doesn't need it any more
2. Adam: meat, rare and uncut
3. Ryan: fu*k'ing, sh*t, I ain't getting’ that b*tch fu*k'ing sh*t
4. Sharon: Jacob, what else?
5. Alex: meat, rare and cut (at least that’s what Sheila wants)
6. Josh: butt plug (regifting)
7. James: normally he wouldn’t bring anything since he’s a homeless bum, but he just so happens to have a pube mustache in his pocket
8. Chesia: saddle
9. Matt: Natalie (regifting, first try)
10. Jen: herself, she’s all the gift anyone needs
11. Amanda: acting lessons, first lesson: seizure 101
12. Parker: IOU for a week of paparazzi stalking
13. Allison: anything she wants, anything, Allison adores her, so good. She wouldn’t lie. And a shirt from 1993, not a regift.
14. Neil: not invited, no one can remember who he is
15. Jacob: Sharon, but he wants her returned

7:38 PM  
Anonymous Jamie said...

Duct tape so we don't have to hear:
"Ya know what?"
"I'm a single mother"
"I'm 45"
"Know That!"
etc, etc
for the next month!

7:38 PM  
Anonymous rosarito said...


welll that's a shame cuz I wuz bringin the Margies.

oh well

7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

im sick of sheila talking about her birthday and what they are going to do for her.... she is much worse than dani was about her birthday except that she was only turning 21 or 22... grow up shreeka

7:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sharon would bring a pink blankie to match Sheila's new robe. And some mole repellent for her garden.

Ryan would bring her a toaster and a loaf of bread so she can make Ry-toast for breakfast.

Natalie would bring her a pair of knee socks and a bible with all the self-serving, er...I mean, important parts hi-lited.

Adam would bring her a new, plush, pillow top mattress and a hood for her inner warrioress.

7:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To bring to Sheila:
Natalie~ give her back the knife she used to stab her in the back
Sharon~ ummmm got nothin to offer so nothin it is
Ryan~ what's clearly left of his brain cells so hopefully sheila will smarten up soon
Adam~ he may as well offer her the knife ryan is placing in his back

7:41 PM  
Anonymous rosarito said...



7:42 PM  
Blogger Beorn said...


LMAO...How in the world could I top your list???

7:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon @ 6:38 in (Feeds Are Back)

- you're right. i checked 'em out. several really cool, not-to-be-missed posts in "Ryan & Adam Done with Natalie." these people can be so funny. leaving now. gotta join this game. ;)

p.s. i'm still gonna sign as "anonymouse" - don't got a blogger thing.

7:45 PM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

Gee..what should the HG bring Sheila for the party?

*Adam should bring grapes to peel and feed to the 'Queen for the Day'

*Nat could give her share of the wine, but that probably wouldn't work since we learned that Nat has mental problems and really doesn't think about anyone but herself.

*Ryan probably would wait on 'her highness' since he seems to look at Sheila like a mother

*Sharon would give the gift of cleaning all day for her.

I know, not original..but the HG couldn't get out to shop so hard to really find anything ;)

7:45 PM  
Blogger Starstone said...

Nat: A nail polish masterpiece - Shelia as a mermaid, inspired by her cover shot
Sharon: Her portion of the alcohol
Adam: a massage (he owes her after the 90 minute one she gave him!!)
Ryan: Lip service (That's all he's ever really given anyone)

7:46 PM  
Blogger Beorn said...

Back in a bit... I am having an insanely powerful craving for Reese's peanut butter cups, and I don't keep candy in the pantry because, well, I don't normally crave sweet stuff. The closest thing in my apartment is agave syrup for tea.

7:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought we were just listing the remaining house guests. What would the rest bring. Well, since they obviously didn't win any damn money they would probably all chip in for a joint gift. Maybe they could place a winning bid and win her the date with Evel Dick. (And if they threw in the saddle that was mentioned by a previous blogger-well just think about the possibilities!)

Oh-my bad-I thought about the possibilities. Now I think I have to go lay down. Oh my eyes.

7:48 PM  
Blogger Sucker4aFairytale said...

for sheilas birthday

natalie will bring a nail polish portrait of sheila. of course..

ryan will bring some of his left over food but in the process of opening presents he'll have eaten it all.

adam will bring the idea of a massage but will probably not follow through, instead he will entertain sheila with stories from the geish.

sharon will let sheila use her blankey and read her a scripture of her bible causing sheila and natalie to tear up.

haha jane and jamie you are hilarious

7:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about another flour episode - courtesy of James!!

BTW, what happened to that bag of flour?

7:49 PM  
Blogger June Bug said...

Ok Jane. I'll play.

For Big She's B-day...

1. Sharon will bring her some inside dirt like what the guys are planning for next week.
2. Ryan will bring her some Icy Hot to rub on his hurting neck.
3. Adam will forget its her birthday- "Oh S*it! Was that today?" (Scratch Scratch Sniff)
4. Natalie will bring her a redo of her HOH Penthouse picture done in an array of nail polish colors including the new one from Sheila's HOH basket- Chatty Conch Shell.

Me, I'll send her a muzzle and a box of Tissues... even though I wasn't invited.


7:50 PM  
Blogger ~imogen said...

sadly everything i can think of is dirty.. *ha*
i do like janes list of things tho.

7:51 PM  
Blogger canddwadsworth said...

Nat would bring a painting of herself

7:58 PM  
Blogger Genie said...

Hello everyone!

Ohhh a new game I see! Jane's genius strikes again! I'm playing...

1. Jacob: won't come cause he don't know the broad. no gift.

2. Parker: conditioner

3. Jen: a lifesized picture of herself. Who needs anything else?

4. Amanda: A book "Acting for Dummies- Bueno"

5. Alex: will come wearing a smile and nothing else. hehe

6. Allison: Won't come because BB won't allow her bodyguards.

7. Matt: Won't come because BB won'r allow him bodyguards.

8. Chelsia: a whip to go with the saddle

9. Josh: A recorded inspirational speech by him entitled "How to be Yourself- And Loving It"

10. James: a bicycle built for two.

11. Natalie: A bottle of wine (which she accidentally drank)

12. Ryan: Went in on the gift with Jen.

13. Sharon: A pair of HOOPed earrings.

And last but not least,

14. Adam: A $500K cheque dated April 22.

8:02 PM  
Blogger Pyke said...

I'll try to do this seriously: for my favorite.

Sharon: Final 2 for Shiela (so Shiela can get 50K)

Now, on the silly side:

Natalie: A "How to look Pretty for old washed up hags who didn't get a highschool education and is dumb as sh*t" According to Natalie of course. And don't forget, "I gave you HOh Shiela because you deserved it, I don't wanna be a James cause I am a hypocritcal bitch. Look at my boobies! Boobies! Crap, where is my Bible?"

Ryan: "I TOOK money away from that bitch, why would I give her something now? FINE! I'll give her Natalie going home!

Adumb: 10K... and a rose.


Alex: Himself, for my own personal enjoyment

8:11 PM  
Anonymous DebinNY said...

LOL Jamie! You forgot flour and toliet paper.


8:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Natalie will bring a picture of Matty.

8:17 PM  
Anonymous Charlie said...

ahh some great gift ideas from everyone, especially love the re-gifted butt plug. lmao!

heres my suggested list:

gnatalie- signed copy of her new book she just dictated "New Math and the salvation of the 7 commandments"

Ry-toast- the upcoming POV competition

Adam- Promises to eat the bday cake with his mouth f'in closed baaaabiee!

Sharon - DVD of "dont ask dont tell" by falcon


8:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

looks like fun but my twin boy's birthday is tomorrow too, I have a 5 year old pirate party to put together.

but I will read them all tomorrow :)

8:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Strunk & White's The Elements of Style

8:20 PM  
Blogger Beorn said...

Can we talk? Good. Because I just can't bear to lie anymore. I didn't got to buy peanut butter cups--that was just a ruse. Actually I went to say a speed novena for Natalie in my room of a thousand candles.

It was all a facade, and I'm sorry. I'm actually just another member of the cult.

8:23 PM  
Blogger N2RealityTV said...

Happy 46th Birthday Sheila!

Here's your gifts:

Amanda - Starbucks coffee served with a smile and a BUENO!
Alex - Evel Dick
Adam - Wrapped hooded warrior with a ribbon and bow.
Parker - The entire TMZ camera crew.
Jen - A case of Sheila's favorite wine.
Sharon - Fruit, which of course would have to be shared with the GP's.
Jacob - A boa constrictor.
Neil - Champagne and caviar.
Joshua - Crackers and sour cream to go with the caviar.
Allison - Chandelier to swing from.
Ryan - Beavis and Butthead movie.
James - Pink hair dye and tampons.
Chelsia - Tons of makeup and a box of douches.
Matt - His thoughts from his alone time in sequester.
Natalie - A bible signed by God.


8:24 PM  
Blogger ~imogen said...

pyke!!! love the natalie one!!

8:30 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

n2realitytv - is it a bible signed by god, or a bible signed by natalie who thinks she's god?

god bless you god

8:33 PM  
Blogger Beorn said...

Does anybody know if they make Botox for Necks?

8:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No one would need to guess what to bring because Big Sheila would pass out lists with specific items needed in order to be let into the party.

8:36 PM  
Blogger N2RealityTV said...

Jane ... Natalie will look deep into Sheila's eyes and tell her that God commanded her (Nat) to sign it in His name.

Loved your list, especially Josh's "re-gift". hehehe


8:40 PM  
Anonymous Ry said...

FUN!! Let's start from the beginning:

Jacob will give her the real truth behind Sharon's endless stories.

Neil will give her a phone call from Perez Hilton and he will swiftly make a comment as to the droopage of Vajayjay's at the age of 46.

Parker will flip her off since she is a 6. He can't let no 6's mess up his game, son.

Jen will...I dunno...tell her how she watched all the past seasons of Big Brother and give her...a kiss on the cheek? (Who knows and who cares, for real)

Alex will put on a Chippendale's gift and give her a dance for every time she talked about his cooking, his cleaning, his hot looks, etc...

Amanda will text her an inspirational message.

Allison will give her a slap across the face and then lie that it was for good luck.

Matt will hand his Mom a nice card for her birthday. :)

Chelsia will teach Sheila the tactics of getting Natalie to hate her.

Joshuah will become Super Joshy and do a dance to Madonna's "Ray of Light"

James will give Sheila another pep talk...those seem to work coming from him!

Natalie will give Sheila attitude and the top 10 techniques to pleasing a man.

Sharon will become Hoopz and stomp Natalie's ass out all while telling Sheila that she should bring her to the F2

Adam will stop playing around and finally propose a night of fun and dirtyness to Sheila. Crotch scratching and googly eyes for all!

Ryan will show Sheila the best minute and 27 second of her entire life!

Oy...sorry for the long post. Enjoy!

~ Ryan ~

8:47 PM  
Blogger Beorn said...

G'night everybody!

8:48 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

g'night beorn :)

8:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ahh fun times :)
ill play with the remaining houseguests:
Nasty Natalie-a nailpolish painted portrait of her in a straightjacket kissing mattys memory wall picture..and an empty bottle of wine, of course

sharon-her very own shaul final 2, and 50K

ryan&adam-a collection of screen tees:
"Let me frikkin' tell you something..."
"Kimberly Loves You"
"I'm a 45 year old single frikkin' mother and I still look like this"

good times good times :)

8:54 PM  
Anonymous Ry said...

Haaaaad to throw this out there. Natalie's favorite quote "Treat others as you would like to be treated"


~ Ryan ~

9:04 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

i'm LOVING Adam right now... during this questions thing..

9:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

keep drinking this will get really good in an hour or so


9:15 PM  
Blogger Ashley said...

I love it! I'm want to play!

1. Natalie: The silent treatment (really it's a gift to all of us)

2. Adam: "Whatever you want ma!"

3. Ryan: A secret alliance and of course it's only with her ;)

4. Sharon: Play time with the fur-ends... "No never mind they only love me"

5. Alex: He was going to DJ the party but after hearing what Sheila said about him and the cake he's going have to miss it.

6. Josh: A tongue lashing and not in a good way.

7. James: A big blow of flour in the face and a pep talk

8. Chesia: A bitter snotty speech made as she walks about the door.

9. Matt: A hand written IOU for 20 minutes of Matty make out time (it's what all us chicks want right?)

10. Jen: A guide on how to control Ryan

11. Amanda: Some Spanish lessons.

12. Parker: Hair care products

13. Allison: Helping her come up with an elaborate lie for no apparent reason what only hurts her game.

14. Neil: He never got the invite since CBS tries to pretend he never existed

15. Jacob: one word "splitskis"

9:17 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

damn ashley, I wish I had remembered splitskis! Lol.

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Ry said...

Carolyn ~ I completely agree with you! Adam is showing a side that I am loving. He is human! Finally he is showing a nice side of himself!

~ Ryan ~

9:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

theres nothin better then gnatalie, sheila a bottle of wine and endless useless conversations. they each could start a cat fight in an empty room. lovin it!


9:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beorn: LMAO, I thought I was the only one who noticed Sheila's neck. While her body is in good shape for her age, her face and neck ...

Sharon has all the sequester house votes right now guaranteed. OMG Sheila and Nat are starting to go at one another..haha..Just give them wine!! Sheila really thinks she is "IT" now. It is so obvious that she needs all the male attention.

Rye Bread is so kissing up to Sheila. Sharon is worthless. I hope Adam wins it all. Anyone but Sheila in 2nd place. I want to see her face when everyone left turns on her. Now that will be priceless.

9:29 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

OK boys, leave Sheila's chicken neck alone. Seriously, I'm glad I was never beautiful like her so I can age and no one will notice.

9:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ry carolyn what channel you watchin? My TV is shows adam doin his best homer simpson, toungin the wine bottle in the most nauseating way, burping and lusting after anna nicole.


9:31 PM  
Blogger GaYToR said...

Leave it to me to take a few hours off for nourishment, and spend an hour with Bill Maher and LMCAO. The guy has his finger on the pulse of everything.

Love all the gifting, but darn, the good ones are taken. Maybe I'll come up with some in the middle of the night when I think the best.

To everyone else who listed... EXCELENT JOB! I do have a few but most are too nasty for even ME to type, and they would make Carolyn blush before she hits the delete button.

Loving BB AD right now. caught a few minutes of the questions and now Sheila and Sharon locked away to get away from the Gnat.

I'll be back. Somewhere, and when you least expect it.

9:31 PM  
Blogger jadedlove said...


Josh: a tiara ...
and then take it back because it looks better on him.

Adam: a card and a condom,
both addressed to Kimberly.

Nat: Either a nekkid pic of herself ... for Sheila to pass on to penthouse
or a large bowl of grapes ...
sour grapes.

Ryan: a damp towel ...
damp from the drool after he leered at her younger pic some more.

James: Nekkid pool boy duty for one week ...
As long as she votes him back in the house this time.

Sharon: A bible ...
the cover of which is made from furriends' poop

Allison: A complete wardrobe ..
which she will take back when Sheila doesnt vote it the best present of the bunch

Chelsia: a riding crop and an engraved curry brush

Amanda: Alex, which a large bow

Matty: a MILF IOU

Parker: a large case of WHINE

Jen: a present addressed to herself ...
afterall she SHOULD be the center of attention.

J :)

9:37 PM  
Blogger Ashley said...

Thanks Jane!

You're list is too funny!

9:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sheila, Sheila, Sheila,

The whole world is watching and laughing at what you are saying. Everyone knows that Nat could have beat you hands down in the box. Save yourself some humility woman!
Not a big Nat lover, but you are showing your true colors now.
Play out the Queen Bee act while you can, cause you are gone, DUNN
real soon!

9:44 PM  
Anonymous Ry said...

Charlie ~ I choose to ignore things sometimes. I gotta say though, I covered up the TV set when he was giving oral pleasure to the wine bottle! All the good stuff happened BEFORE that...I swear...

~ Ryan ~

9:44 PM  
Blogger Meredith said...

Natalie should bring her a jar of her Jesus' Fountain of Youth Skin Creme with Matt's Uric Acid to minimize fine lines and the premature againg effects of hard, White Trash living.

Adam can bring the Magic Wand "Back Massager".

Ryan can give her a ten large gift certificate for botox with Dr. Will

Sbaron should giver her her hands so she can stop clapping when she speaks. Hate that shiz.

They should all chip in and buy a grating drone annoying accent defibrilator so i can watch clips with sound.

And Julie Chen should give her a signed copy of her forthcoming self-help book, How To Marry Someone Else's Really Wealthy and Powerful Older Husband So I Don't Have to Live in a Dump in the Valley. Stay With Us.

9:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Natalie: Her unfilled prescription of Prozac

Adam: He would give Sheila his pink slip

Sharon: would give Sheila her brown nose

9:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Adam: His Pink Slip
Nat:her unfilled prescription of Prozac

Ryan: his unused copy of "Etiquette for Dummies"

Sharon: a free-trial of pest control to get rid of moles

10:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok I gotta play!!

Sharon - A book that she wrote about her and Jacob's relationship. (which was repeated 3 times to make it longer)

Adam - A few of the boogers he has picked and saved instead of eating them.

Ryan - $100 of the $10000 he took from her.

Natalie - A big basket of LIES!!!

And once the game is over Alex would buy her neck lift courtesy of the DJ business he owns.

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1.BB will ring the bell and everyone will come to the couches. There will be a elimination today and everyone including those on the block will compete. HOH is no more! Natalie wins and puts Shelia on the block and Shelia goes home. Happy Birthday Shelia !

2. Double elmination, Sharon is on block now, and Sharon goes home!

3 Natalie wins HOH and pov is played and ryan wins!

4. Adam is evicted
Happy Birthday Shelia, You and Adam are in sequester together !

I can only wish !

8:25 AM  
Blogger Pugmoms said...

<<<1.BB will ring the bell and everyone will come to the couches. There will be a elimination today and everyone including those on the block will compete. HOH is no more! Natalie wins and puts Shelia on the block and Shelia goes home. Happy Birthday Shelia !

2. Double elmination, Sharon is on block now, and Sharon goes home!

3 Natalie wins HOH and pov is played and ryan wins!

4. Adam is evicted
Happy Birthday Shelia, You and Adam are in sequester together !>>>

I've loved all your answers! But how can anyone top this! If this were to happen I might even want to watch the show again. I've been a BBer since BB1 and I've never detested anyone as much as I now detest Sheila. Wish I could come up with something on my own, but you all have covered all the bases.

9:14 AM  

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