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Friday, April 11, 2008

Ryan & Adam Are Done With Natalie

5:11pm BBT
Ryan & Adam

They're tired of Natalie's "bearing false witness." Watch the clip.

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Anonymous Ron in CO said...

** I went outside today and discovered my entire front yard hedge on fire. **
** In the process of attempting to extinguish the fire, I found the following message --
engraved on a rather large number of stone tablets. **
** On a separate, smaller tablet, were instructions to pass the message on,
under penalty of dire consequences should I not do so. **

Verily I Say Unto Thee:

People, People, People;
My very own Peeps;
Apples of My all-seeing eyes;
My favorite Creations among all My many, many Creations:

Thou absolutely must stop thou throwing verbal stones at My Sweet Neat Natalie -- undisputed and reverent leader of My Son's team in the BB House; My favorite actress; My joyful little trickster. My Natalie has done nothing to any of thee to receive such abuse.

I do grant you My Radiant Ray of Repetition has made one -- ONE -- mistake: to wit, having too big a heart in letting that SheJudas Sheila win HoH. My Natalie let Sheila win just so that 45-year-old, single mother could see pictures of her 16-year-old son (who, by the way, did not sign up for this). Sheila shall be betraying My Little Lovely of Little Intelligence quite soon now, and for what - for 500,000 pieces of silver, that's what. How cheaply these evil-doers are willing to throw My Natalie aside.

Do ye not see the irony in the competition I directed Ms. Grodner to present? Who among ye could "hang" in a glass house, and emerge so completely free of any backstabbing, evil-doer shenanigans as My Natalie just did?

In My omnipotence, I have determined Natalie is the only person in the BB House worthy of winning this game of Truth, Justice and the American Way. I have tried to communicate this decision to all of ye through My Necromancer of News Natalie, My Voice on Earth, via conversations with her and by providing her directions to specific and pertinent Bible passages. But, so far that has done nothing but cause her to be verbally abused and laughed at, and accused of bearing false witness.

Fair warning!!! Beware all ye who would make My Little Natalie Long-Stockings the butt of thou not-really-funny and abusive comments. My Son's vengeance is nigh. So sayeth My Son.

With no thought for her own well-being, My Natalie gave up her no-question/no-contest opportunity to win HoH, which opportunity included the ability to get rid of that back-stabbing, lying, cheating little blonde beast named Sharon. (I would have made sure My Natalie could play final-4 HoH somehow even after winning HoH -- I do have continual communication with My Little Arbiter of Good v. Evil, so I'd have figured something out. I was able to prank all of ye and arrange to have "Pink Messy" returned to the house.)

Unfortunately, I neglected to account for the overpowering effects of the smoke, failing to realize it would temporarily plug up Nat's ears, and so she didn't hear Me when I was literally screaming at her not to worry about trying to help Sheila. Alas, My poor little innocent, good-hearted Nat was not lucid the day I talked about the "good" dying (being evicted) young, so being unable to hear instructions otherwise from me, she automatically expressed her good-hearted, self-sacrificing concern for Sheila.

To those of ye who would denigrate My Nearly Nude Natalie because she happens to have been a stripper, I say to ye: "those among ye without sin" should be the only ones to throw those terrible and hurtful verbal stones ye have been tossing at My poor little Nat's head. Have ye not considered what could happen if any of those stones were to go through one of her ears? It would rattle around inside that cute little pig-tailed head and every time she moved her head it would make such a racket it would drive My Clutter-headed Christian to even further distraction than ye evil-doers are already visiting upon her.

As a stripper, Nat was merely a woman who was providing the male of the species with opportunities to enjoy the natural wonders of the body I gave her (with a little assistance from some of My scalpel-adept elves - er, helpers). My Son magnanimously forgave the Magdalene; do you really believe he would hold any contempt for the Natalie?

My Nat does not lie; My Nat does not cheat; nor does My Nat betray. My Bible Banging Beauty has never done anything to occasion such terrible treatment as ye have heaped on her fragile shoulders and equally fragile psyche. She has been oh so loyal to My Son without resorting to any form of evil-doing.

Agreed, she is a wonderful actress and a truly cute little trickster, but she is no liar, cheater or betrayer. I know, I know, she "pretended" to be a Seattle SeaHawks cheerleader. (Oh My Self -- how terrible!!!!) Oh, for My sake!?!!? That little bit of "acting" didn't hurt anybody. And, you must admit, it did provide her with an inordinate amount of amusement. Would you really begrudge My lonely, misunderstood little Christian Warrior even that little bit of joy? Remember, she did not ask ye of your time to provide her joy; she provided this little bit of joy all by herself.

But, I ask you, what is "acting" or a little "trick" compared to betraying the trust of your fellow man, like that pink-haired little sh*t of a mistake which I allowed Ms. Grodner to foist off on ye as someone who was supposedly as good as the rest of the human race? I apologize for that mistake. However, that was My mistake, not Nat's. She acted only as any kind, good-hearted, nonjudgmental follower of My Son would act. (BTW, "The Pink Stink" has that little bit of hair on his head in order to cover the "666" tattoo on his scalp -- the ONE tattoo he does not want anyone to see. I am also UNamused with his tattooing My name on his rear end -- that kinda takes My being within each of ye just a bit too far.)

What is "acting" or a little "trick" compared to lying to the face of your fellow man, like that little major-drama-creating Joshua did? She didn't scream at people to their faces. She did say things behind their backs but, as I've said many a time -- what you don't know won't hurt you, and oftentimes telling the truth to one's face could prove to be very painful for the receiver of that truth.

What is "acting" or a little "trick" compared to cheating your fellow man so you can come through a fair competition the victor, as Adam and Ryan did in the last PoV? (This time, though, the cheating was to ensure that "The Pink Stink" didn't win, so I really don't have a reason to be overly angry.)

As for those of ye with dirty, dirty minds - turning an innocent little tummy rub for Matty into something nasty: just stop it. Matty didn't want his shoulders to get cold and My little Nat couldn't see through the covers. Get over it. Just get over thou dirty, nasty little minds. Sheesh. A simple, motherly, comfort-providing little act should turn into such a drama? Who are ye people? Are ye all Joshua? I realize I'm getting older over the eons, but I just don't remember making so maaaannnny Joshuas. Ye people (Joshua-types) seem to be breeding like, well, like rabbits, to be truthful.

Finally, a word to all of ye "anonymouse" (yes, anonymousE) posters - you think you are so cute, clever and self-protective, hiding behind and within the "walls" of "anonymous": Do ye forget who ye are dealing with? I know who ye are. I know where ye live.
Remember, My Son is the One with the "thing" about stoning. I much prefer lightening bolts (or floods).

I'm just sayin'.


5:49 PM  
Anonymous Sherry P said...

Ryan's right, it is crazy how the Pawn has been safe all season this time.

It appears that Sharon won't be safe next week, unless she finally decides to win one of these...

I just can't wait to see how this all plays out now that it's down to the wire.

5:54 PM  
Anonymous rosarito said...

These guys sound like they're thinkin' O'Brother looks like they're 'in a tight spot' :)

5:54 PM  
Blogger David B. said...

have the feeds ever gone ou tlike this before??

5:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The guys made a very valid point, Nat has overplayed her hand. She's played the game too hard and tried to play all sides to her advantage. The house is too small to be doing that kinda play now. You can spread a wide net when there are 16 people in the house but not 5.

As they said, had she stuck with them she'd be safe. Too bad cuz once Matty left she really showed some game, maybe it's her addictive personality that took over. With no Matty to focus on she just rechanneled her energies into game play. Watching her over the feeds she never stops talking about he game, ever.

I loved when she argued with the guys that nobody calls coffee 'a cup of joe'. That was priceless.

Just goes to show how tricky this game is, you gotta be a strong player but not too strong. Case in point, Sheila and Adam going strong - who'da thunk it?


5:59 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

I love you!!!!
:) Yayyyy!!!!

I felt a little guilty reading and savoring every word before I published...

but I did it anyway! :P

5:59 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

david b... maybe once a season..

6:00 PM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

Ron...thou are brilliant! LMFAO while bowing to the great almighty!

6:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow Ron Co,

that was quite an effort, I'm impressed, and highly entertained. LMAO!!

Btw - God, just in case you're reading, I always sign my posts.


6:04 PM  
Blogger Bklyn said...

Thank you Carolyn; great job last night..I mean this morning.

6:04 PM  
Anonymous Rickman44 said...

my feeds are back, but are all flames...

6:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Must still be snowing in colorado, great work ron


6:09 PM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

My feeds are back with HG, but they are iffy pics.....

6:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Our poor Natalie. It seems as though she has been forsaken by the rest of Team Christ. It appears as though the rest of TC have become evil doers. It was prophesied, T-E-A-M C-H-R-I-S-T has 10 letters, they shall become evil in the tenth week of our game. It’s an old story, someone being persecuted fo their beliefs, values, and strong morals. It’s a matter of jealousy of her beauty, intelligence, physicality, oral skills, and her mutually loving relationship with the dearly departed St. Matty of BB9. She will be redeemed and rise again.

This message was brought to you by the Church of Natty Day Saints, the Morons

6:11 PM  
Anonymous Lessa said...

Ooooooooooh lawd'av'mercy, Ron, that was hysterical!!!

6:14 PM  
Blogger ReporterX said...

Wow Ron!! That's an impressive post..that took some time!! WOW!

Loved it! Good read!

6:15 PM  
Anonymous Rickman44 said...

Church of Natty Day Saints -- too funny! That post alone will keep me giggling all evening. Thanks!

6:17 PM  
Blogger dina a.k.a. KiKi said...

I'm a faithful reader of this *AMAZING*(you ROCK, Carolyn!!) BB Blog...just haven't commented yet. I had to chime in with "kudos" to Ron on his prolific post. Good stuff, man....good stuff!

6:19 PM  
Blogger JuneBug said...

Ok Ron. Because of you, I did it. I made a blogger account. I've been posting comments on Carolyn's wonderful blog almost all season (every since I found her Myspace anyways) and I have to admit, I've been posting as "anonymouse" because I didn't have any account to use, but allas, no more. Now I shall be known for what I say. Muahahaha (evil laugh). :)

6:20 PM  
Blogger GaYToR said...

Ron... FANTASTIC! That deserves a special award for "Comment of the Day"

Who knew a straight man could be so clever :p~. Are you sure you aren't one of us? Would you like to be? I could set aside some time to..... OOPS... there I go again. GaYToR!! BEHAVE YOURSELF!

Everyone has been so full of cheer. Well the real ones anyway. I heart you all!

6:22 PM  
Anonymous rosarito said...

Oh ron in co,
Thou art wise,
Thou hast taught me how to enter my name on my post,
Ever will be grateful unto you


6:25 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

GayTor - who you callin' straight?

6:25 PM  
Blogger Ida Reilly Dunno said...

I keep saying I want to comment on the past couple of days. While I am not a Nat lover I really think it should be her staying and Sharon gone.

Sharon the pawn sits and chills every week........ ummm who is laughing last if the pawn wins?
Have these people thought of who is in the jury house?????? All of Sharons friends so R-A-S you might as well sit down and take the 50K b/c that is all you're getting with keeping Sharon in.

Now for who I really like.......... ummm none of them really! I think this is one of the worst BB's ever? Please tell me others agree with me. Some weeks I really was pulling for Adam or Ry-guy but I dunno I cannot give you an intelligent answer of why I do or do not want them to win but I do not believe they played hard!
Well, Adam did more than Ry and Sheila well I think she did freakin' squat!

OK I will stop here- see I never post and then it is 10 pages long ;p

Peace Out~

6:25 PM  
Blogger GaYToR said...

HAHA Carolyn. It really takes a score card to keep up in here and I think my pencil is out of lead. It happens somtimes at my age. :o

I'll be returning shortly. I've had major Java issues and it's driving me crazier than I am. I have to resolve it so I can play Pogo during the slow moments.

6:29 PM  
Anonymous Ry said...

GayTor ~ How dare you tease Carolyn with the prospects of a straight man on her blog. That's just harsh...

Ron in co ~ Dang it! I'm trying to watch a Flyers game. Took me 20 minutes to read your damn post, lol! Impressive I must say though!

~ Ryan ~

6:30 PM  
Anonymous Ron in CO said...

GaYToR @ 6:22

As Carolyn said, "Who ya callin' straight." Not only do I not resemble that remark, I almost resent it. :)

I am a p-r-o-u-d, senior, gay man.

Although I don't make a point of it often, I have posted several times over the past few weeks concerning my sexuality. One of them was in response to someone who stated Josh was an embarrassment to the gay community. I told them as a gay man I didn't find him embarrassing, but also didn't feel he was there representing me individually, or as a member of the so-called gay "community."

We would never be able to decide on one person to represent all the variety that is "us."

Other than the accusation [;p] of being straight, thanx for the complement on the post.

6:32 PM  
Anonymous Not a Natalie hater here said...

Natalie had a chance to win POV, and her God lovin' soul couldn't pull it off. So, Ron in CO that's the way it goes!

6:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ryan im watchin that same game and cant believe the flyers blew a 2 goal 3rd period lead.


6:37 PM  
Blogger Bklyn said...

I thought I was being silly; now have confirmation..talk about the pot calling the kettle black.


6:42 PM  
Anonymous Ry said...

Charlie ~ I am seriously not a usual liker of sports (see I didn't even think to put "fan" there). But I've really gotten into the Flyers recently and I can't believe they dropped the ball on those goals. And then Ovechkin...bastard! Oh well Natalie is leaving next week, at least one thing is going well! And I should be going to see a Phillies game soon too, so bonus there as well.

~ Ryan ~

6:43 PM  
Blogger GaYToR said...

Mea Culpa Ron. I do remember now, and I think we even talked about it, BUT, that offer still stands. :p~

I know there is a straight one in the group somewhere. I just can't remember who anymore.

Will the straight man please 'rise' and give us all a look? (I quck me up sometimes.)

YES! Java is repaired after many attempts to delete and reinstall, one finally worked.

I'm back and ready for a fun night.

6:47 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Is Alex the straight guy? Alex in Coral Gables?

I know Biskit's straight...

But there's another one..

6:50 PM  
Anonymous Ron in CO said...

I think Shamrock is straight. Apologies to Shamrock if I'm wrong. No offense intended. :)

6:55 PM  
Anonymous rosarito said...

I know some clever articulate straight men so don't be strait haters!
I know I know some clever articulate straight men .........
I just can't think of any right now

6:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I went to grad school in philly, love phlly, and i love both the flyers and phillies. Never enjoyed the eagles or sixers too much though.

Agree on gnat leaving, but im hoping for the full dramatic, gnatalie faye baker performance. SO I hope theres plenty of booze about and someone spills the beans and the predictable reults will follow.


6:56 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Rosarito - lol.. ditto.

6:59 PM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

Thought I saw the wine bottle opening in the HOH a bit ago Charlie....looked like Nat hitting it and Sheila was drinking some coffee drink. But the feeds were blinking off and on at the time, so not sure.

I am also looking for Nat to go out with a bang....thinking she will not be as 'nice' as she thinks she will.

7:04 PM  
Blogger Tella said...

ron in co

You are amazing. I laughed for a good while reading that.

7:10 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Come check out Jane's post in Feeds are back :)

7:27 PM  

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