An Interview With Dick Donato,
Winner of Big Brother 8
aka Dick Donato Does the DishChicks
So I come home from South Beach last night right around midnight, quickly check my messages, and my already terrific night gets that much better: Dick's ready to play with the DishChicks. ;)
It only seems fitting. After all, how many times does a girl have to proclaim "I love Dick" before she gets a little action? Not too many. ;)
What's Dick up to now? Well, he's shooting a pilot for a late night talk show called The Dick at Nite Show. We've got our fingers crossed his show gets picked up! Of course, we'll let you know the moment we hear anything. Then again, you can always check out his myspace page. He's quite good about updating the blog.
Without further ado, here's the interview! Hold onto your hats, folks, it's gonna be a bumpy ride. If you thought you'd heard Dick's last rant on the live feeds last summer, you are sorely mistaken.
If you'd like to link directly to this interview, here's the addy:
If you've already read this interview, and you need more, check out this one from Reality BBQ, but not at work!! There are naughty pics! Here's the link: RealityBBQ Interview with Dick
Carolyn: First things first - long overdue but extremely heartfelt congratulations on your wins: Big Brother & re-establishing your relationship with your daughter. You proved again and again throughout the season that the latter was of much more importance to you, and for that and so many other reasons, you have my utmost respect and admiration.
Dick: Thank you very much. It was very odd to me that because of the fact that everyone saw how hard I worked on our relationship, and how America saw it changing, and how well we worked together in the game, how even though they knew it was hard and painful...
We both have gotten thousands of messages telling us both what an inspiration we have been to these people watching. How watching the show, watching us, inspired them to contact their estranged Fathers, Sons, Mothers, Grandparents, etc...
So many stories, it really is amazing.... One of the most unbelievable & unexpected byproducts of this season. (...and the fact that people everywhere aren't giving me the finger and telling me to die, lol.)
Carolyn: How have you been enjoying the spoils of war? Any particular indulgences the 500k has afforded you?
Dick: I bought Daniele a new car - she wanted an Eclipse... I paid off my '03 Z06 Corvette... I took Daniele to London, Dublin and Kilkenny, Ireland. My Grandmother was born in Kilkenny.
I actually have just received my Irish Citizenship a week ago. And it was funny over in Europe (not the value of the dollar, it was a joke, but not funny...) When they would hear from my friends or when fans approached us over there, they assume it is like Big Brother UK, that we are these huge celebrities. They went way out of their way to take care of us, and took care of a lot of my bar tabs as well.
But I haven't gone and bought that one extravagant thing for myself that everyone seems to assume you did...
I will be buying another Harley or Custom Chopper soon though.
Carolyn: Some of my favorite moments on the feeds last season were "The Dick at Night Show." Thank you for doing that! What inspired the idea?
Dick: I have always been a fan of the show. I have bought the feeds, at least 3-4 times. Watching someone pacing around in the backyard or stressing and thinking, or trying to work out strategies... I list all that sh*t, because you never knew, you got to watch them and others for hours on end pacing or thinking... And that was some boring sh*t to watch.
I always swore to myself that if I ever got in, and if there was a spot where I couldn't be overheard... I wanted everyone watching to know exactly what was going on inside my head and my heart, to let the people watching in on my strategy, my alliances, my thoughts on the other HG's...
And because Daniele was in there.... Well they got the first hand account from my perspective of what was going on in our relationship, as a special added bonus.
Carolyn: There's been a lot of talk about you & Daniele knowing one another would be in the house prior to the game. Care to comment on that?
Dick: Yes, I would. I have actually read sh*t from writers on websites, like CowboyBetty192 or some cowpoke name she wrote under for Buddy TV. This dumb b-tch said she had so much proof that the thing with our relationship was a lie...
Would you like to tell me how you know about things in my life better than I do? I hate tw*ts like her that state their opinions as fact.
She also said she was a friend of mine and that we used to IM all the time...
She said that Daniele had dinner with Allison Grodner before she went in the house....
She said their was proof that me and Daniele were in regular communication even as we went into the house.
BIG FAT F*CKING LIE
I have talked about how it all played out from the day I walked out of the house, so all you people that write for an internet site or a dot com or blogs and the rest of the crew that was part of the reading, writing and retards short bus...
PAY ATTENTION, BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED:
I was a finalist in Season's 5 & 6.
Daniele was brought in at the end of the audition process in SEASON 6 to be my secret partner.
A few months after we didn't make it on Season 6, she stopped speaking to me.
Fast forward to the open casting call for SEASON 8.
The hours for the auditions were something like 10-3pm.
I went at like 2:30 pm so there wouldn't be the big lines that there always are early...
Daniele went later to the open casting call to avoid me.
I happened to show up while she was still there. She actually was trying to hide behind her then boyfriend, Kris. I didn't see them, but she saw me and scurried off to the restroom.
I walked up and signed in, said hi to all the casting people I saw, since I had been through 3 months of auditions, TWICE before, they all knew me, and we were chit chatting.
Tedd mentioned that Daniele was there, and I made a comment.
He asked if we came together, I said no, and then told him the story that she hadn't spoken to me for almost the amount of time it had been since I saw them last.
In my initial audition, they asked me about it.
I am not an idiot, I have seen the show...
So, when I left I wished Daniele good luck. Those were the first actual words spoken between us in 2 years.
There were always messages from me to her on her myspace, email, voice-mail, carrier pigeon, whatever... But the only responses I got from her were 2, just 2 messages on myspace.
I would write these very long heartfelt letters to her, and I never knew if she actually read them or just deleted them. So I wrote her a note one day just asking if she read what I wrote or not.
The first note from her was a reply to that simple note I wrote. And her answer....
"I read everything you write."
That was it.
I tried using that as a opening to communication, nope... She didn't write me back.
When I went to Ireland a couple years ago, I bought Daniele her birthday presents. I would leave whatever for her at my mom's house, and my mom would get it to her. I was frustrated and pissed at this silent treatment that is never ending with her, and I sent her a note saying that she won't talk to me, but she has no problem taking gifts, etc...
Well, I got a response alright. She wrote me a letter that basically outlined everything she hated about me, and how I had screwed up her life in a thousand ways, and what she thought of me....
The birthday gifts were given back to my mom a few days later.
I found out from Daniele, they asked her a lot about what was up with our relationship during the audition process.
When I was driving home from the casting call, I text messaged Dani.
I wrote... "You better be ready to play this entire thing out on national tv."
There was another tip for me later. My mom was complaining that she couldn't get ahold of Dani, because she used all her minutes on her phone. That was the week of the finals sequester. So, I figured she was gabbing away in the hotel room you can't leave for 10 days and ran out of minutes.
So, I had an idea, or I kind of figured she would be in the house, but I never had confirmation at all.
Let me tell you.....
I wrote a note to Dani, I think it was the week we were told we were on the show. The note I wrote her was so cryptic - saying sh-t like sometimes there are things in life that would be better worked on together, but I referred to my mom's health to kind of cover the real underlying message...
I was afraid that if I wrote her a note saying anything directly about the show that she would take it to the producers and have me booted out of the finals. The letter was so f-cking cryptic that she had no idea what the hell I was talking about.
SO F*CK ALL OF YOU FULL OF SH*T DOUCHEBAGS THAT CLAIM YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING AND KNOW MORE OF MY LIFE THAN I DO... AND THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS FINE.
Again.... F*CK YOU!!
Carolyn: (would like to state parenthetically & for the record that she is not a part of the aforementioned group)
Carolyn: Having auditioned 3 times prior to being cast, at least part of the formula seems to be perseverance. Are there any other tips you can impart to those auditioning for BB10?
Dick: It was twice prior, Season 5 & 6. It was 3 years because of All Stars season 7.
Carolyn: Ooh.. ok.
Dick: I was asked this nonstop during the audition process for Season 9. I tell everyone: it took me 3 f*cking years to get on. You should ask Zach or Mike, because it only took them like a month.
My Advice (for auditioning):
Don't hold back. Be yourself, don't fake, lie or try to bullsh-t or be someone you are not. Have things to talk about. I don't have the problem of not ever having sh-t to talk about, but a lot of people do. Think of some funny stories of sh-t in your life, and you might have an opening to tell it.
I was who I am. I didn't talk to them like they were my bosses or held the key to me getting on or not. I spoke with them all like I would by buddies. Even when the execs were asking me sh-t. I would tell smelly pussy stories. I walked into an elevator with Allison and Robyn, when I was in sequester in the finals, I think in season 5, and as soon as the elevator doors closed, I ripped huge fart and started laughing. They knew me like my friends know me.
Carolyn: (lmao imagining the scene in the elevator) Dick, After the season was over, both Zach & Jen posted pics & videos on their myspace pages suggesting supposed "proof" that you cheated during the final comp. It felt pretty sour grapes from this angle. Care to comment at all on the allegations?
Dick: Why yes, I would like to comment....
First off, look at which two you are talking about. Samurai Sword Brain and the (uni) Tard (hey, Julie called her the tard, I just want to make sure everyone understands that Julie called her a tard.) They are about as quick as a constipated old woman crossing the street in a walker with a club foot. I mean, Howie brags how he can use the Jedi mind trick on them both without fail, and we all know that Howie isn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Jen was the one who would win comps on a cheat, not me.
Zach should be more involved in the church, since he had Jameka to thank for bringing him back to having a very special relationship with God. I think he confuses that "special" relationship with God, to the one he had while he was an altar boy and that "special" relationship he had with the priest.
Carolyn: Oh my.
Dick: What was said was that I only really answered the first question, then being one ahead, just copied Zach's answers the rest of the time. How could I copy Zach? Well, it was almost like the magic bullet in the JFK assassination.
They said I would look into a 1" x 1" mirror square that was about 20 feet away, and I could see what he answered.
First off, copying anything that Zach did would have been like copying from the kid next to you in algebra, but the kid next to you always wore a helmet, had a big piss stain in the front of his pants and could never remember to zip up.
Secondly, if you watched the feeds, you would have seen me wearing glasses at the end to read some instructions on some of the goofball things they gave us for entertainment.
Third, there were so many conspiracy theories this season. The message board people are too funny and really need to get some hobbies.
According to them, it was also me who put the blue ball in Jameka's tube, disqualifying her from the PoV. Yet, it was me, not Jameka that demanded to speak to one of the Executive Producer's about how the f*ck that got in there.
I thought it was Zach, to be honest, but I didn't see anything. They saw me pick up my barbed wire necklace and said I stuck the blue ball in my pocket. It was my chain, you dumbasses.
To be honest, I was really upset with myself for missing a couple of those questions, especially the Jen question. I did that a few times in there though. When something seemed too obvious, you start questioning and talking yourself out of the obvious one. I should have gotten the Jessica question as well. The answers to both questions were "ME!" Jen felt she was the best competitor, and Jess respected her game over Eric's.
But I am so happy it ended up the way it did. If I had beaten Zach by 3 questions, it wouldn't haunt him as it will losing half a million dollars by one question.
So, whenever he thinks of last summer, he has to think, 1 question = Zach $500,000, and more than enough money for him to invest in his inventions... Like the giant toothbrush he invented so people with gigantic teeth that look like broken piano keys in their mouths, can brush more conveniently. Maybe he would have even invented a way to keep the unitard from disappearing into Jen's vagina when she wears it with no underwear around the kids she nanny's. I am tellin' ya, if that was camel toe, the camel must have belonged to Paul Bunyon.
No, I never thought to copy Zach. I am not like that. I would never copy someone that is that socially inept when the questions were about knowing the people in our little society... Seriously, give me a f*cking break.
But I was being totally honest when I said I am glad he can think about losing the show, the money, all of it... by one question.
Which brings up another point about the majority of the people that were in the cast. They would have preferred to give the money to that walking dildo with ears, who's biggest move in the game was running naked in the backyard and showing the world he has a cock the size of a thimble.
Daniele and I had to actually play the game. Our strategy wasn't as brilliant as Zach's strategy of having his lips surgically attached to the reining HoH's ass while he is promising them to vote how they want him to, all the while massaging their balls the entire time.
Can ANYONE tell me what Jen's strategy was, please? The only reason she was on the show as much as she was, was because of me ripping her apart. She should be kissing my ass and thanking me. If it weren't for the fights we had, her big claim to fame on the show would be what? Crying over her picture showing all of the world how vein and self centered she is? Maybe it would be showing off every crevice and fold of her vagina, between the unitard with no underwear and sitting legs spread showing the Showtime audience that she actually did keep the kids bicycles in there and not the garage at Vanna's house.
Carolyn: There's a pretty fierce anti-Dick sentiment in some circles, and the stated basis for it is your antics - rants, ice-tea, etc - while in the house. I always saw it as game play, and I'm curious to know if you consulted the folks in the DR or the rule book everyone's so fond of before you'd pull a new stunt... to make sure you were within the acceptable rules of the game?
Dick: I talked to them in the diary room sometimes, asked to speak with the EP (executive producer). Remember too... I have run clubs for years and dealing with drunken a--holes was not much different in a lot of respects. No matter how I feel about the f-ckstick I am tossing out of the bar, or how in my face he got... I knew I would end up writing an incident report about it later, maybe even end up in court. So, I never lost my cool. I was always all about pushing them as far as I could. Hell, if Jameka or Dustin would have hit me.... who cares? One less to have to evict.
Carolyn: Masterminding Dustin out of the house has to be the best play ever made in the game - and the sweetest moment of the season for me - he made me ill. Sitting there next to Dustin in the hot seat, how confident (or nervous) were you?
Dick: You can never be completely confident when you are on the block. We have all seen this game, and Dustin actually experienced that drop in your stomach when your worst fear smacks you in the back of the head like a baseball bat.
I was pretty solid with Eric's vote, but remember...
Pre-meltdown Jen had to vote to evict Dustin as well. So, I would say about 80-85% sure.
The funniest thing to me that day was they announced to the house on eviction day, that the house would be getting Chinese food for dinner that night....
And from the bathroom, you hear Dustin screech out...
"I LOVE CHINESE!!!"
Under my breath I was laughing my balls off.
I only wish that Dustin would have given that speech he told the rest of them he was going to say when he got his last plea to stay in the house... Something like he was doing the house a favor, that by volunteering to go up against me, he would be doing the house a courtesy flush getting rid of me. I really wish he had done that, then again.... would it have added to the most classic footage of the literal jaw dropping eviction in the shows history?
Carolyn: What's your favorite moment of the season?
Dick: Favorite moment? There are a few...
- Evicting Zach and winning, dubbing it "The Season of the Donatos."
- Jen's meltdown...
- Winning the Shot for Shot Veto Competition on the very last croquet shot. I needed a 4 to tie, and to hit the pole for a 5 to win, and out of the 9 previous shots, I only hit it once.... I nailed it and won the PoV that changed the game. I couldn't let Daniele down. I had to do it, and for once, I didn't choke. lol....
- My relationship with Dani, but that wasn't a moment... it was the entire time.
Carolyn: Most shocking?
Dick: After the show, finding out I was the most popular houseguest and not the most hated. (sorry Amber)
Carolyn: And your least favorite moment?
Dick: Watching the entire house of stupidity turn against both Dani and I. When we were being honest, outing Eric, laying all the sh*t out for them and they f*ck us and think it was such a smart, clever thing to do.... idiots.
If you noticed on the show, for the most part they didn't say jack sh*t until Jessica won the HoH that week. Little did they know that was the start of my most favorite of all the weeks I spent in the house: Hell Week.
Carolyn: What are your winning tips for the new houseguests who are about to go into sequester in a couple days?
Dick: Stop saying that if we had been in the same season, we would have been allies, buddies, BFF's. I was told that every houseguest going on the show said that as the answer to the "How would you have dealt with Evel Dick," question.
And what is lame... So many people said they would use my strategy this season. But if you watched the feeds you know that I put hours and hours into my strategies week by week. Talking it out on the Dick at Nite Show, to the candy bars Dani and I used during hell week when we figured out a way to get Eric out the following week if I was voted out that week.
People that say or even think that the entirety of my strategy was to call people out and f*ck with their heads, are way over simplifying things. One jack off reporter from the San Diego Union Tribune said my strategy was to just yell and berate everyone in the house.
It was a bit more complex than that....
Targeting the right people at the right time. Setting people up - like when I told Amber that Eric was holding her big secret for the right time to use on her... Well, I was doing the same with his statement. So, even though it wasn't me going off on Eric, it was because of me.
Breaking up alliance after alliance, breaking up the pairs. Leaving people out on an island with nobody to help them.
Both Eric and Zach have stated that if it wasn't a fast forward week that Daniele would be gone, that they would have made a deal.
Listen sh*theads.... Had that week not been a fast forward, I would have looked at every single scenario, would have seen that was a possibility, and would have put Eric and Zach against each other on the block. If you remember, I basically owned Jameka at that point, and if she would have broken her word with me after promising on the cross of Jesus....
Also, Zach and Eric hated each other. They never spoke and even after the fact Zach, the master(bating)strategist, kept saying that if only Eric wasn't such a weasel, and how he couldn't trust him, how he would miss munching Jess' panties since she left....blah, blah, blah.
Carolyn: Assuming there will be a BB All-Stars 2, would you do it all again?
Dick: You are assuming a lot. Who knows? It took 7 years for the first one, and you know as well as I do, there were quite a few people on All-Stars that had no business being an all-star. I mean ....seriously.
So many were fan favorites, but they had no business on that show. I mean, don't get me wrong, and I have said this to him personally.... but how in the f*ck does Kaysar, who was voted out 3 times in 2 seasons get on, and Lisa, who won her season, doesn't get on? Lame.
But as with everything in life, it all comes down to money, and ratings = money. Kaysar has a huge fan base. Well he is awful cute.
Carolyn: Yes, he is. :-p
Dick: If anyone sees Lisa from Season 3, tell her I want to take her to a nice dinner and tell her how vocal I was about her getting screwed on all stars. Plus, she is a hot piece of ass.